I haven’t written in two months and have felt very uneasy about it. Would I ever find something new to say to caregivers who read my blog? Happily, I found the words this morning.
Walking at 7:45 on this clear, frosty morning, I decided to try something different and took a path that winds through the woods, along the stream. My pace instantly slowed as I left broad, level neighborhood streets for a rocky, uneven trail, barely a foot wide. To safely navigate a steep downhill grade, I needed to concentrate.
The frozen, frosty ground crunched beneath my feet. A slim ribbon of matted leaves stretched ahead, leading me towards the stream, where a huge tree had fallen all the way across from one bank to the other. Roots upended and the bank eroded, the trail abruptly shifted left to go up and around the downed tree. The fall-off to the stream was steep, so I had to pay close attention to every step.
When past this treacherous section of the trail I came to the back of a yellow sign. Walking around, I read the warning for those who’d be approaching from the opposite direction. It said “Slow: Narrow Path.” Instantly, I knew that message was meant for me!
I’m often impatient with life, particularly with work projects and goals. When it seems that things are hard to accomplish or take too long I worry. Am I doing something wrong or not doing enough? I wonder if things will work out OK and stew in self-doubt. I redouble my efforts, trying harder, working longer hours. I lose a healthy balance in my life and deplete the very energy I need to achieve my goals.
When I saw that yellow sign this morning I heard the voice of God in my heart. “Jane, slow down! What you’re doing is difficult and requires concentration. If you rush, you may slip-up. Making your way forward successfully will take time. Accept that this is the best pace for now; you’re not doing anything wrong. Relax and trust that the details of life are working out as they should. You’ll go at a different pace some other time. For now, be still and know that I am God.” What a reassuring message!
Exiting the woodland path, I climbed the hill and headed home. The sun was brilliant, glistening off my neighbor’s frosty grass like a carpet of diamonds. Returning to the road, a woman walked past on her way to the train station; she smiled and wished me “good morning.” I looked down and found a salt-covered penny near the curb in the street.
Picking it up, I smiled and let the calming, encouraging message sink in. These days, my life is like an unpaved, narrow path which requires me to concentrate and move carefully. Try as I might I just can’t go any faster. I can see the way forward and can handle what lies ahead, but if I rush I may stumble. Slow down; take it easy.
I also walked a narrow path during my caregiving years. Then, as now, I often felt impatient with life. I worried that I wasn’t doing enough, wondered if things would work out OK and sometimes stewed in self-doubt. I pushed myself beyond a healthy balance and often felt depleted.
If you’re a caregiver on a narrow path, take some time for yourself. Keep caring, but slow down. Relax and trust that the details of life are working out as they should.
Until next time, take good care of yourself…Jane
Written by Jane Meier Hamilton
Jane Meier Hamilton MSN, RN, a nurse for 35 years and family caregiver for 20 years, founded Partners on the Path to help professional and family caregivers preserve their health, well-being and capacity to care. Read her book, The Caregiver’s Guide to Self-Care: Help for Your Caregiving Journey to learn sensible, effective ways to cope with your caregiver stress.
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